How to make your Spouse a better Gift Giver - Valentines Day

Ok I will just come out and lead with it - Send him or her this link to a Massage Gift Certificate ! Seriously, its not that massage is the only gift, but if you are reading this blog, there is a very good chance it is something you would love, and therefore sometimes it is helpful to give guidance.

Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. And expectations sometimes run high.  Whether it is the gift, or the card, or the flowers or the dinner - Valentines is sort of like New Years for some - there is pressure to succeed. 

Some of you reading this may already be dreaming about roses and Godiva, others a romantic candlelit dinner and a stunning pair of diamond studs.

Still others may just be hoping for a morning to sleep in and maybe a cup of coffee handed to you before you even get out of bed. Maybe more help with the kids, if you have them.

Tips for Making Your Spouse or Significant Other a Better Gift Giver

Don’t make it a guessing game.
Gift-giving shouldn’t be some kind of test—especially not a pass or fail one.  For those who are literally happy with anything, I guess this post is not aimed at you. For others, they wish their spouse was more thoughtful, but maybe he just needs guidance and does not excel at reading minds.

There’s no reason to be sly or secretive about what you want for a special occasion. Just be open about it.

For men (and I am assuming most reading this blog are women) I think most would love to make you happy and give you what you would love, so spell it out.  Send an amazon link,
But if you have something in mind—even if it’s just the type of present you’d like —don’t just cross your fingers and hope they can read your mind.

Let Him Know When He Gets It Right
When your spouse or SO hits the nail on the head gift-wise, feel free to gush over it—and then demonstrate how much you love it by making a point of using/wearing it in his presence. 

Not only will he feel proud of his present of choice, he’ll also be more likely to give a repeat performance!

Tell Him to Consider This  - What does he love about you, and then give a gift reflecting that.”
So if your mate is totally stumped, suggest he consider what exactly it is he loves about you.  If he loves how organized you keep the whole family, maybe you’ll end up with a beautiful, classy day planner.  If he’s grateful for your cooking skills, you might get to enjoy a brand new cast iron skillet.  If nothing else, asking that question is a helpful starting point.


Encourage Him to Think Beyond Stuff the Store
A house full of stuff does not a happy person make.

Experiences.
Life is about experiences. And this goes for you too in the giving department, Maybe it is a helicopter flying lesson, or grown up go carts.

A study from researchers at San Francisco State University found that when we spend our money on experiences rather than things, it can actually lead to increased satisfaction and well being.  This again is a perfect reason for getting and giving massage.

So help your spouse out and make yourself happier in the process by suggesting he focus on experiential purchases. A gift certificate for a manicure, a pair of tickets to the theater, or a coupon for a skydiving trip (for the thrill-seeking readers out there!) might be in your future.



Remember: It Really Is the Thought That Counts 
It is cliché, but it is true.  As long as there is thought that goes into it.  A thoughtless gift picked up on the way home can hurt, better no gift.  But a thoughtful mate might be struggling and one gift you can give him in return is direction.



With Aloha

Note: Because most  of my readers/clients are heterosexual females, and because it it too cumbersome to do otherwise, this post is written that way, but it of course applies to all genders and couples. Anyone who knows me knows that no offense is intended.  If you are unattached this Valentines day than of course gift yourself....what a wonderful thing to do!

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