HEALING HANDS BODYWORK OF BOSTON
  • Home
  • MY STORY
    • My Story
    • Temple Style Lomi Lomi
    • My Travel to You
  • Offerings
    • Bodywork Offerings
    • Sound Healing Offerings
  • Book
    • Online Booking Calendar
    • Request an Appointment
  • MORE...
    • Sound Healing & Gong Baths
    • Chest & Breast Massage >
      • Therapeutic Chest & Breast Massage
      • Benefits
      • FAQ's Chest & Breast Massage
      • Resources
      • Legality in the USA
      • Courses in Chest & Beast Massage for Therapists
      • A European Perspective
    • Manual Lymphatic Drainage >
      • Manual Lymphatic Drainage - MLD
      • Therapeutic Post Surgical MLD
      • Oncolgy & Lymphedema Care
      • FAQs for MLD
      • Request a Consultation
    • Certified Prenatal Massage
    • Discounts, Packages, Gifts,Policies >
      • Discount Packages
      • Refer a Friend
      • Policies & Insurance
      • Purchase A Gift Certificate
    • Contact Me
  • LEARN
    • For Massage Therapists
    • Massage Workshops for Couples >
      • Massage Workshops for Couples
      • Intimacy Through Touch Workshops
      • Turn Any Treatment or Workshop into a Mini Retreat
  • Testimonials
  • Blog

Small Changes You Can Easily Make to Experience More Happiness and Peace.

1/25/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
Part 1 – Be good to yourself
 

1. Be Good to Yourself
To take any steps toward your own well-being - you have got to be on your own side. Not against others, but FOR you.  For many people, that’s harder than it sounds. Maybe you were raised to think you didn’t count as much as other people. Maybe when you’ve tried to stick up for yourself, you’ve been blocked or knocked down. Maybe deep down you feel you don’t deserve to be happy.
Think about what it’s like to be a good friend to someone -
Then ask: Am I that kind of friend to myself ?
 
If not, you could be too hard on yourself, too dismissive of what you get
done each day. Or too half-hearted about telling others what you really
need.
 
 
2. Take in the Good
Scientists believe that your brain has a built-in negative bias. This is because, as our ancestors dodged sticks and chased carrots over millions of years of evolution, the sticks had the greater urgency and impact on survival.  This negativity bias shows up in lots of ways. For example, studies have found that the brain generally reacts more to a negative stimulus than to an equally intense positive one
 
In your own mind, what do you usually think about at the end of the day? The fifty things that went right, or the one that went wrong? Such as the driver who cut you off in
traffic, or the one thing on your To Do list that didn’t get done . . .
In effect, the brain is like Velcro for negative experiences, but Teflon for positive ones
. That shades your underlying feelings, expectations, beliefs, inclinations, and mood—in an increasingly negative direction.
 
Which is not fair, since most of the facts in your life are probably positive or at least neutral.
 
But you don’t have to accept this bias! By tilting toward the good—toward that which brings more happiness and benefit to oneself and others—you can actually REWIRE
 
 
 3. Have Compassion for Yourself
Life is full of wonderful experiences. But it has its hard parts as well, such as physical and mental discomfort, ranging from subtle to agonizing.
 
When someone you care about suffers, you naturally have compassion: the wish that a being not suffer, usually with a feeling of sympathetic concern.
 
You can also have compassion for yourself—which is not self-pity. You’re simply recognizing that and bringing the same warmhearted wish for suffering to lessen or end that you would bring to any dear friend grappling with the same pain, upset, or challenge as you.
 
 
4.  Relax
It’s easy to feel stressed these days. Or worried, frustrated, or irritated about one thing or another, such as finances, work, the health of a family member, or a relationship.
When you get stressed or upset, your body tenses up to fight, flee, or freeze. That’s Mother Nature’s way, and its short-term benefits kept our ancestors alive to pass on
their genes.
 
But today—when people can live seventy or eighty years or more, and when quality of life (not mere survival) is a priority—we pay a high, long-term price for daily tension. It leads to health problems like heart disease, poor digestion, backaches and headaches, and hormonal ups and downs. And to psychological problems, including anxiety, irritability, and depression.
 
The number one way to reduce tension is through relaxation. Besides its benefits for physical and mental  health, relaxation feels great. Just recall how nice it feels to
soak in a tub, curl up in bed, or get a massage.  Being able to relax your body and mind, making time to do so, is critically important.
 
 
5. See the Good in Yourself
There is good in every person—but it’s often easier to see in others than in yourself. For example, think about a friend: What do you like about him or her?
Including qualities such as sense of humor, fairness, honesty, intelligence, soul, patience, passion, helpfulness, curiosity, determination, talent, spunk, or a good heart.
Seeing these positive characteristics in your friend feels reassuring, comfortable, and hopeful. It’s good to recognize what’s good in someone.
 
Including you!
 
Each of us is like a mosaic, with lots of lovely tiles, some that are basically neutral, and a few that could use a little—ah—work. It’s important to see the whole mosaic.
But because of the brain’s negativity bias, we tend to fixate on what’s wrong with ourselves instead of what’s right.
 
 
6. Slow Down
Most of us are running around way too much. Say you bump into a friend you haven’t seen for a while and ask, “How are you?” Twenty years ago, a typical answer
would be “fine.” But today the reply is more likely to be - “busy!”


We’re caught up in e-mails, phone calls, long hours working, schlepping kids from here to there, and trying to match velocities with everyone else who has speeded up.
Whatever the particular causes may be in your own life, it’s easy to feel like a short-order cook at the lunch rush.
 
There’s a place for revving up occasionally, but chronic speediness has many bad effects:
 
It activates the same general stress-response system that evolved in the brain to protect us from charging lions, which releases nerve-jangling hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, weakens your immune system, and wears down your mood.
 
It puts the alarm system of the brain on red alert, scanning for threats and often overreacting.  Have you ever noticed that when you speed up,
you’re quicker to find things to worry or get irritated about?

It gives you less time to think clearly and make good decisions.  Even though “the need for speed” may have become a way of life, it’s always possible to make a change. Start with little things. And then let them grow. Honestly, slowing down is one of those seemingly small actions that could really change your life.
 
 
7. Forgive Yourself
Everyone messes up.
Me, you, the neighbors, everybody.  It’s important to acknowledge mistakes, learn
from them so they don’t happen again, and feel appropriate remorse. But most people keep beating themselves up way past the point of usefulness: they’re unfairly self-critical. Inside the mind are many subpersonalities.

There is an inner critic and an inner protector inside each of us.
For most people, that inner critic is continually yammering away, looking for something, anything, to find fault with. It magnifies small failings into big ones, punishes
you over and over for things long past, ignores the larger context, and doesn’t credit you for your efforts to make amends
 
 That’s why you need your inner protector to stick up for you: to put your weaknesses and misdeeds in perspective, to highlight your many good qualities surrounding
your lapses, to encourage you to return to the high road and frankly to tell that inner critic to Hush Up Now.
 
 
8. Befriend Your Body
Imagine that your body is separate from you, and consider these questions:
 
How has your body taken care of you over the years? Such as keeping you alive, giving you pleasure, and taking you from place to place.
 
In return, how well do you take care of your body? Such as soothing, feeding, and exercising it. On the other hand, in what ways might you run it down, feed it junk
food, or intoxicate it?
 
In what ways are you critical of your body? For example, are you disappointed in it or embarrassed by it? Do you feel let down by it, or wish it were different?
 
If your body could talk to you, what might it say?  Be Good to Yourself
 
If your body were a good friend, how would you treat it? Would that be different from how you treat it now?
 
It’s common to push the body hard, ignore its needs until they get intense, and tune out from its signals. And then drop the body into bed at the end of another long day like—as a rancher would say “a horse rid hard and put up wet.”
 
People can also get mad at the body, and even mean to it. Like it’s the body’s fault if it weighs too much or is getting old.
 
But if you do any of these things, you’ll end up paying a big price, since you are not separated from your body after all. Its needs and pleasures and pains are your own.
Its fate will be your own someday.   On the other hand, if you treat your body well, like a
good friend, you’ll feel better, have more energy, be more resilient, and probably live longer.
 
excerpted from Buddha’s Brain, by Rick Hanson, Phd

0 Comments

    RSS Feed

    A Really Good Massage Blog

    About Me

    I write about things that I myself need to be mindful of.  ways in which I would like to improve.  It is not from the perspective of preaching - but rather writing helps me work out what I myself need to do - we are all in this together.

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    November 2022
    October 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    September 2021
    August 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    November 2020
    April 2020
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    December 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014

    Categories

    All
    Abdominal Massage
    Aloha
    Anti-inflammatories
    Antioxidant
    Awareness Week
    Ayurveda
    Ayurvedic Medicine
    Back Bay
    Belly
    Benefits
    Best MAssage
    Better Sleep
    Body Mechanics
    Bodywork
    Boston
    Breast
    Breast Cancer
    Breast Massage
    Buddha
    Buddhist
    Burnout
    Cancer
    Cancer Massage
    Cannabis
    CBD
    CEU
    CEUs
    Chant
    Chest Massage
    Chi
    Chi Nei Tsang
    Christmas
    Classes
    Continuing Education
    Coronavirus
    Couples Workshops
    Courses
    Covid
    Deals
    Deep Pressure
    Deep Tissue
    Definition
    Discount
    Discounts
    Emotional Healing
    Esalen
    Euphoria
    Fertility Massage
    Flying
    Friendship
    Full-body
    Full Body Massage
    Getting Pregnant
    Gift
    Gift Certificate
    Gluteal
    Glutes
    Gratitude
    Grief
    Habits
    Hands
    Happiness
    Hawaii
    Hawaiian
    Healing
    Health
    Herbs
    High
    Holding Hands
    Holiday
    Hospice
    Human
    Infertility
    Ke Ala Hoku
    Ki
    Labor
    Laughter
    Learn Lomi
    Letting Go
    Life
    Lomi
    Lomilomi
    Lomi Lomi
    Lomi Lomi Training
    Lomi Massage
    Loss
    Mailing List
    Mana
    Manual Lymphatic Drainage
    Marijuana Massage
    Marthas Vineyard
    Massage
    Massage CEU
    Massage Class
    Massage Deals
    Massage Discount
    Massage Training
    Mastectomy
    Meditation
    Membership
    Mindfulness
    MLD
    Mothermassage
    Movement
    Music
    Myths
    Oahu
    October
    Oil
    Oncology
    Oncology Massage
    Pain
    Pain Relief
    Pandemic
    Parable
    Pecs
    Platonic
    Post Massage High
    Postpartum Massage
    Post Surgical
    Pregnancy
    Pregnancy Massage
    Pregnant
    Prenatal
    Relaxation
    Resolution
    Retreat
    Romantic
    Self-care
    Singing Bowls
    Sleep
    Sound Therapy
    Stress
    Stress Management
    Student Discount
    Testimonial
    Thai
    Thank You
    Thank You Note
    THC
    Tips
    Touch
    Tranquility
    Trauma
    Travel
    Tucking
    Tummy Tuck
    Val
    Valentines
    Valentines Day
    Wellness
    What To Expect
    Workshop
    Workshops
    Yoga
    Zen

    RSS Feed

  AWARD WINNING
   Looking for the best massage In BOSTON ?
   Voted "Best of BOSTON"  Massage BY Thumbtack
   Users  2 years in a row
.

Best Massage in Boston

 What Our Clients Are Saying

If you had a positive experience and you think others would benefit from your words, please feel free to send us your testimonial at
aloha@healinghandsbodywork.com   

Mahalo

BOOK NOW !

Subscribe Today!

* indicates required

View previous campaigns.

  • Home
  • MY STORY
    • My Story
    • Temple Style Lomi Lomi
    • My Travel to You
  • Offerings
    • Bodywork Offerings
    • Sound Healing Offerings
  • Book
    • Online Booking Calendar
    • Request an Appointment
  • MORE...
    • Sound Healing & Gong Baths
    • Chest & Breast Massage >
      • Therapeutic Chest & Breast Massage
      • Benefits
      • FAQ's Chest & Breast Massage
      • Resources
      • Legality in the USA
      • Courses in Chest & Beast Massage for Therapists
      • A European Perspective
    • Manual Lymphatic Drainage >
      • Manual Lymphatic Drainage - MLD
      • Therapeutic Post Surgical MLD
      • Oncolgy & Lymphedema Care
      • FAQs for MLD
      • Request a Consultation
    • Certified Prenatal Massage
    • Discounts, Packages, Gifts,Policies >
      • Discount Packages
      • Refer a Friend
      • Policies & Insurance
      • Purchase A Gift Certificate
    • Contact Me
  • LEARN
    • For Massage Therapists
    • Massage Workshops for Couples >
      • Massage Workshops for Couples
      • Intimacy Through Touch Workshops
      • Turn Any Treatment or Workshop into a Mini Retreat
  • Testimonials
  • Blog